Coexisting with PCOS

I looked into the mirror a few weeks ago. To my horror, I found unusual hair growth on my cheeks and below my jawline. This was a consequence of PCOS or Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.

PCOS is a fairly common health problem that affects 1 in 10 women. It is caused by a hormonal in reproductive hormones often marked by the excessive production of testosterone. Symptoms of PCOS include acne, weight gain, irregular menstruation, and  hair growth.

At the age of 11, I started waxing. The wax was hot on my skin, my hair was coarse, and the pain had become intolerable. Yet, I continued with process because we’ve been told that pain is the price we pay for beauty. Lately, I’ve begun to question that belief.

Unfortunately, beauty is a social construct. Models on magazines are perfectly waxed and actresses on T.V. commercials have flawless skin with no signs of hair growth.  We are bombarded by images and stereotypes that dictate what is considered beautiful and what is not. Facial hair on women is not perceived to be attractive. In fact, hair on any part of a woman’s body is seen as unwanted.

Harnaam Kaur is a 24-year-old woman who suffers from PCOS. As a teenager, she faced bullying due to her facial hair to the extent that she contemplated suicide as an escape. Today, she holds the Guinness World Record for the youngest female with a beard. She embraced her condition and her facial hair in hope that it would empower those with PCOS to be confident and comfortable with their appearance.

You do not have to be ashamed of your hair – it is a naturally occurring phenomenon. Shirking societal norms of beauty is not an easy task, but one that can be both rewarding and liberating.

Michael Hiltzik, “What’s Happened to America’s Middle Class?”

This week, I had the pleasure of attending Michael Hiltzik’s talk at the Athenaeum. As a Pulitzer Prize-winner journalist and author, Hiltzik enriched students and faculty on his findings and views on how the middle class gets squeezed by income inequality and unfair government tax benefits.

Recently, education and housing prices have increased while remuneration in middle class job positions have decreased, moving a significant part of the population down the ladder. Additionally, the middle class continues to get squeezed out of government programs: they make too much to qualify for Obamacare benefits, but too little to afford private health insurance. These incidents have caused the middle class to “lose its foothold on the American dream.”

With the period of extreme instability and doubt that has clouded American politics since Trump’s victory, Hiltzik predicts continued transformations for the middle class. Because this group has been abandoned by the government, its political support is now up for grabs and can define the fate of American politics. The question that remains is: how can we save middle class America and the American dream?

Berger Board Members Reflect on the Election

The current election results are providing everyone with a chance to introspect and reflect. Here, Mari Adam ’80 of Adam Financial Associates and Chair of the Berger Institute Board wrote a brief blog post on how the results are affecting the markets and what investors can do to stay the course. And San San Lee ’85 of Law Offices of San San Lee wrote a personal reflection that places this event within the context of childhood events.

These are just two examples of the millions of perspectives that are being expressed by Americans today.

Click Bait

Google defines click bait as “(on the Internet) content, especially that of a

sensational or provocative nature, whose main purpose is to attract attention and

draw visitors to a particular web page.”

To me, click bait is largely “97-Year Old Michigan Woman Finally Gets Her High

School Diploma,” “Why I Took My 7 Year Old To A Tattoo Parlor,” and “10 Things

Millenials Won’t Spend Time On.” It is headlines that, for some reason, describe

stories that I just have to read. Most of the time, it’s a form of subconscious

procrastination. I give myself a finite number – usually between one and three – of

articles to read before getting back to the work I’m supposed to be doing. Largely

benign, these headlines are the product of society’s willingness to humor ridiculous

stories out of simple curiosity.

Another “genre” of click bait, of the self-help variety, is a more interesting

phenomenon. These headlines are aimed at people’s weaknesses, stories about how

to get people to like you, ten ways to make your skin clearer, or what kind of cardio

will help you shed the most weight by Christmas. This click bait is more malicious, a

part of the media tied up with an agenda to tell individuals that they are not and will

never be good enough. Each headline’s job is to convince the reader that they suffer

from some imperfection: you are unliked, your blemishes are noticeable, you are too

heavy and need to lose weight.

And because of the proliferation of self-help headlines, the incessant barrage of

messages telling everyone how to improve themselves, people start to think that

they need improvement. And while I am cognizant of this phenomenon and aware

of the implications, I still click the link telling me which twelve foods are killer for

belly fat. But I do click them less, and when I do mentally qualify their

recommendations with a reminder that any suggestion is optional and not a

comment on who I am as a person.

Life Timeline

Something I’ve touched on tangentially in previous posts is the idea of the “life timeline.” That is, the idea that there are certain steps to be taken in sequential order towards some societally defined understanding of success. Since I’ve taken many of these “steps,” I’ve started to get the question every newlywed or aging woman gets: so when are you going to have children? And to this I have two things to say:

  1. The outright assumption that I am going to have children is not cool. From those close to me it’s less offensive, as my love for children and my open life plan both indicate an intense desire to be a mother. But for others, children are not in the plan. They are not the end goal, and to assume a woman wants to be a mother implies that her identity is only defined by her relationships with others (daughter, wife, mother). In a world where women’s rights are better protected and enforced than ever before, to allow a woman’s worth, capabilities, or personality to be defined solely by her family is unacceptable.
  2. Even if it’s very clear that a woman wants to have children, it is a sensitive subject. For me, timing is everything; between finishing school and starting my career, I have to carefully plan when I’d like to start having children in order to maximize my time with them and my potential career trajectory. Other women may be privately struggling with infertility or marital problems, which makes having (or not having) a child a very sensitive issue. Deciding to have a child is a deeply personal decision, and prying into that area is insensitive and invasive. My decision on when I would like to have children is frankly nobody’s business but my own (and my husband’s!).

With societal expectations of women and mothers increasingly unrealistic, it is essential for individuals to respect the rights and privacy of young and newly married women. Just because there is a socially approved progression of events that individuals are expected to follow does not mean that is the only way. Respect individuality, celebrate life choices, and remember the importance of finding your own way in a world still set on having everyone do things the same way.